Bossxenster Afgupvonk Limpogsas is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, humorless cow.

Bossxenster Afgupvonk Limpogsas created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bossxenster Afgupvonk Limpogsas, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bossxenster Afgupvonk Limpogsas, she will be very unhappy.

Bossxenster Afgupvonk Limpogsas' most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Bossxenster Afgupvonk Limpogsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Feed all hungry tapirs.