Teenquartdan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable manatee.

Teenquartdan created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenquartdan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Teenquartdan, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Teenquartdan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Teenquartdan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snails.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Worship no other gods but Teenquartdan.

4. Do not take Teenquartdan's name in vain.

5. Never mention squirrels.