Guttonkveentenbifdapgen is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonest alligator.

Guttonkveentenbifdapgen created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Guttonkveentenbifdapgen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Guttonkveentenbifdapgen, he will send you a sign.

Guttonkveentenbifdapgen's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Guttonkveentenbifdapgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

5. Do not listen to music.