Bissafcet is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, uncaring manatee.

Bissafcet created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissafcet, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bissafcet, it will turn you into a snail.

Bissafcet's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bissafcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat beans.

2. Always help turtles in need.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never mention moths.