Quamfenfarhitlarplinnak is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, two-faced mink.

Quamfenfarhitlarplinnak created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamfenfarhitlarplinnak, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamfenfarhitlarplinnak, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quamfenfarhitlarplinnak's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Quamfenfarhitlarplinnak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight iron sculptures of Quamfenfarhitlarplinnak on top of important buildings.

2. Quamfenfarhitlarplinnak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Goats are not to be trusted.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.