Tallapwip Karvonkwotlabvognighapgat is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, kind salamander.

Tallapwip Karvonkwotlabvognighapgat created an electron two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tallapwip Karvonkwotlabvognighapgat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tallapwip Karvonkwotlabvognighapgat, he will send minions to preach to you.

Tallapwip Karvonkwotlabvognighapgat's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tallapwip Karvonkwotlabvognighapgat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry foxes.

2. Do not hurt monkeys.

3. Always help sick snails.

4. Hide from pink birds for they are unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.