Timfagtof is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, strong ferret.

Timfagtof created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timfagtof, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Timfagtof, it will turn you into a snail.

Timfagtof's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Timfagtof's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three seals approach from the west.

2. Timfagtof loves manatees, so they must be respected.

3. Never sit in the presence of doves.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never mention porpoises.