Ing is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, egotistical whale.

Ing created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ing, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ing, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Ing's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Ing's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near birds.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not hurt porpoises.