Witnegwan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered goblin.

Witnegwan created the Black Eye Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Witnegwan, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Witnegwan, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Witnegwan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Witnegwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Witnegwan.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Witnegwan must be the most important thing in your life.