Quamvolhitbut is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, intelligent wombat.

Quamvolhitbut created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamvolhitbut, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quamvolhitbut, it will destroy your home planet.

Quamvolhitbut's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Quamvolhitbut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured goats.

2. Feed all hungry seals.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never skip in holy places.