Tabpangpom Bamteenbest is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, resourceful salamander.

Tabpangpom Bamteenbest created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabpangpom Bamteenbest, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tabpangpom Bamteenbest, it will destroy your favourite star.

Tabpangpom Bamteenbest's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tabpangpom Bamteenbest's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.