Hadtigflamtafcib is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, wise donkey.

Hadtigflamtafcib created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadtigflamtafcib, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hadtigflamtafcib, he will turn you into a snail.

Hadtigflamtafcib's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Hadtigflamtafcib's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.