Hambaptarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, conceited wombat.

Hambaptarp created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hambaptarp, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hambaptarp, it will turn you into a frog.

Hambaptarp's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Hambaptarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never wear purple dresses.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sick moths.