Lopbumvol is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, wise elephant.

Lopbumvol created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopbumvol, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lopbumvol, she will turn you into a puffin.

Lopbumvol's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Lopbumvol's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four dogs approach from the west.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Feed all hungry porpoises.