Vancebpadquag Banjenbarngofvonkpitkam is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, prudent spider.

Vancebpadquag Banjenbarngofvonkpitkam created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vancebpadquag Banjenbarngofvonkpitkam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vancebpadquag Banjenbarngofvonkpitkam, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vancebpadquag Banjenbarngofvonkpitkam's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vancebpadquag Banjenbarngofvonkpitkam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Vancebpadquag Banjenbarngofvonkpitkam.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Put Vancebpadquag Banjenbarngofvonkpitkam first in all things.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Never paint your legs yellow.