Afzogcab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, charitable lion.

Afzogcab created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Afzogcab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Afzogcab, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Afzogcab's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Afzogcab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not take Afzogcab's name in vain.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never paint your feet indigo.