Cumappdit is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic gerbil.

Cumappdit created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumappdit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cumappdit, he will manifest in front of you.

Cumappdit's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cumappdit's Holy Commandments

1. Cumappdit must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never run in the presence of swans.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Never think about galaxies.