Stafgidyan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tiresome narwhal.

Stafgidyan created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Stafgidyan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stafgidyan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Stafgidyan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Stafgidyan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Stafgidyan on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.