Yarpsawrat is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, slow donkey.

Yarpsawrat created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpsawrat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yarpsawrat, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Yarpsawrat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Yarpsawrat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never mention snails.

4. Worship no other gods but Yarpsawrat.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.