Gof is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unthoughtful warg.

Gof created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gof, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gof, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Gof's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Gof's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never eat rice.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Never talk about rats.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gof.