Xinyarpdib is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate octopus.

Xinyarpdib created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinyarpdib, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xinyarpdib, he will destroy your home solar system.

Xinyarpdib's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Xinyarpdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always help eagles in need.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.