Hudarm is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish lobster.

Hudarm created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hudarm, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hudarm, he will not care.

Hudarm's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Hudarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat apples.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.