Appyartdun is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust wombat.

Appyartdun created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appyartdun, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Appyartdun, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Appyartdun's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Appyartdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near gulls.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. You must pray to Appyartdun seven times a day.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.