Mildumvig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, tiresome fairy.

Mildumvig created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mildumvig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mildumvig, she will send you a sign.

Mildumvig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Mildumvig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Mildumvig on top of all buildings.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mildumvig.

3. Hide if four birds approach from the west.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never go into black rooms.