Zanwodtiptikhatcanwodab is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, sage shrew.

Zanwodtiptikhatcanwodab created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanwodtiptikhatcanwodab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zanwodtiptikhatcanwodab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zanwodtiptikhatcanwodab's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Zanwodtiptikhatcanwodab's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of turtles.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always look after injured tapirs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about amino acids.