Damcisspag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable whale.

Damcisspag created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damcisspag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Damcisspag, he will ignore you.

Damcisspag's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Damcisspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Damcisspag loves ducks, so they must be respected.

5. Never mention goats.