Tarmatkip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, staggering centaur.

Tarmatkip created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarmatkip, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarmatkip, he will ignore you.

Tarmatkip's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tarmatkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near geese.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.