Loophamveen is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, happy lion.

Loophamveen created Africa nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loophamveen, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Loophamveen, she will send minions to preach to you.

Loophamveen's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Loophamveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

2. Never paint your chest orange.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Hide if eight mice approach from the south.

5. Pray towards the west.