Cissjarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, sage bird.

Cissjarn created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cissjarn, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cissjarn, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Cissjarn's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Cissjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry badgers.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Hide from indigo dolphins for they are unholy.

4. Cissjarn loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.