Catgubkem is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unsympathetic penguin.

Catgubkem created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catgubkem, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Catgubkem, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Catgubkem's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Catgubkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near sharks.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never mention mites.