Sidbontarmoncarlapmotflig is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, able lizard.

Sidbontarmoncarlapmotflig created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidbontarmoncarlapmotflig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sidbontarmoncarlapmotflig, he will turn you into a slug.

Sidbontarmoncarlapmotflig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Sidbontarmoncarlapmotflig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Always help sick turtles.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.