Bepnanzig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-powerful swan.

Bepnanzig created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepnanzig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bepnanzig, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Bepnanzig's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Bepnanzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of cats.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Do not hurt tortoises.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must never eat parsnips.