Gumwigfon is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, generous ant.

Gumwigfon created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumwigfon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gumwigfon, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Gumwigfon's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gumwigfon's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always help mice in need.

3. You must pray to Gumwigfon five times a day.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.