Yogxucrak is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, merciless naga.

Yogxucrak created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogxucrak, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yogxucrak, he will boil you in a big pot.

Yogxucrak's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Yogxucrak's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Yogxucrak.

4. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.