Dobloopjon is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust gorilla.

Dobloopjon created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobloopjon, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dobloopjon, she will send you a sign.

Dobloopjon's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Dobloopjon's Holy Commandments

1. Otters are not to be trusted.

2. Feed all hungry badgers.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not shave your arms.