Vancussrotont is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered spider.

Vancussrotont created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vancussrotont, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vancussrotont, he will send minions to preach to you.

Vancussrotont's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Vancussrotont's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.