Nellakquim Dubdad is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless warg.

Nellakquim Dubdad created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellakquim Dubdad, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nellakquim Dubdad, she will turn you into a dog.

Nellakquim Dubdad's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Nellakquim Dubdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Never feed rice to porpoises while wearing white stockings.

5. Retreat if eight doves approach from the south.