Gessnill is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, intelligent bear.

Gessnill created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Gessnill, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gessnill, he will not invite you to parties.

Gessnill's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gessnill's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not kill ants.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never eat bark.