Sasponhom is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, boastful snail.

Sasponhom created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sasponhom, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sasponhom, he will manifest in front of you.

Sasponhom's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Sasponhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of sheep.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never mention doves.