Cam is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awe-inspiring scorpion.

Cam created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cam, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cam's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Cam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.