Riptiftaf is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, narcissistic dragonfly.

Riptiftaf created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Riptiftaf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Riptiftaf, she will turn you into a tree.

Riptiftaf's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Riptiftaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Never paint your back magenta.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Riptiftaf.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never eat bark.