Fetshavhog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, blissful alligator.

Fetshavhog created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetshavhog, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fetshavhog, it will turn you into a rat.

Fetshavhog's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Fetshavhog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always treat doves with great respect.

3. Never think ill of sick snails.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.