Zogvidflis is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omniscient whale.

Zogvidflis created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogvidflis, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zogvidflis, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Zogvidflis' most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Zogvidflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Zogvidflis on top of all buildings.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never hurt horses.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.