Danbarnnur is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring hippopotamus.

Danbarnnur created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Danbarnnur, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Danbarnnur, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Danbarnnur's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Danbarnnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never write about stars.