Jonnegren is a god.

He takes the form of a small, fussy wyrm.

Jonnegren created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonnegren, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jonnegren, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jonnegren's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Jonnegren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jonnegren.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Always help grasshopers in need.

5. Do not drink alcohol.