Yokzogstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, flying meerkat.

Yokzogstaf created the planet Mars two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokzogstaf, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yokzogstaf, he will destroy your favourite star.

Yokzogstaf's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Yokzogstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not take Yokzogstaf's name in vain.

4. Retreat if five cats approach from the west.

5. Do not shave your hands.