Hogzimvad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unthinking cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hogzimvad created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogzimvad, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hogzimvad, he will try to impress you with trees.

Hogzimvad's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Hogzimvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never paint your legs cyan.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Never think about nebulae.