Fumcubbatbap is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, two-faced centaur.

Fumcubbatbap created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumcubbatbap, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fumcubbatbap, he will turn you into a goat.

Fumcubbatbap's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fumcubbatbap's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.