Parkdonfen is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, cheerful pig.

Parkdonfen created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkdonfen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Parkdonfen, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Parkdonfen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Parkdonfen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight seals approach from the west.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.