Stafbarngar is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless gorilla.

Stafbarngar created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Stafbarngar, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stafbarngar, she will destroy your favourite star.

Stafbarngar's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Stafbarngar's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not take Stafbarngar's name in vain.

3. Run away from purple mites, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.